NET - One of Your Most Powerful Business Success Tools
Break Through Your Limitations and Go For It!
Having been a business coach for 5 years now and a trainer for 10 years, I've been fascinated by what leads to success in business and life in general. When I first started, I assumed it was all about skills - communication, marketing, sales, finances, how to create systems. To a degree, I was right - without those skills, it's hard to create a successful business. There was a piece that I was missing though...
I noticed that people given the same knowledge and skill base, would have vastly different levels of performance. One person would excel and their colleague would struggle even though their training was the same. It was around that time that I started to look into emotional intelligence as a possible factor to success and I wasn't disappointed.
Studies done in the emotional intelligence arena (EQ instead of IQ) have shown that EQ is a far better predictor of success than IQ (IQ correlates with success 15% of the time whereas EQ corellates 75% of the time). So what is involved in emotional intelligence? Here's a short list:
If there is a place in your business where you are stuck or not getting the results you want, it's almost certainly got an "emotional piece" to it. What do I mean by that? Here are some examples:
I noticed that people given the same knowledge and skill base, would have vastly different levels of performance. One person would excel and their colleague would struggle even though their training was the same. It was around that time that I started to look into emotional intelligence as a possible factor to success and I wasn't disappointed.
Studies done in the emotional intelligence arena (EQ instead of IQ) have shown that EQ is a far better predictor of success than IQ (IQ correlates with success 15% of the time whereas EQ corellates 75% of the time). So what is involved in emotional intelligence? Here's a short list:
- Understanding yourself
- Understanding others
- Effective Communication
- Being comfortable with conflict
- Listening Skills
- Being comfortable with emotions
- Understanding how people are motivated
If there is a place in your business where you are stuck or not getting the results you want, it's almost certainly got an "emotional piece" to it. What do I mean by that? Here are some examples:
Gerry's Story
Gerry is a sales professional in the financial services industry. His sales have never been great, despite solid training and these days, he's in a real slump. He's got a family to support and is getting very concerned. When we take a look at his business sales cycle, we notice that the prospecting and referral part of his business is weak. Really weak. So I ask him about it...
"Whenever I think about asking for a referral, my stomach knots up and I get really tense. The same thing happens when I get a lead or consider cold calling." Gerry says. Even thinking about it gives him a pained expression.
"How do you think you come across when you're that wound up?" I ask.
"Awful - my voice tightens up, I speak to fast or my brain locks up and I can't think at all. I know I'm losing sales because my nervousness makes me look inauthentic. It's cost me thousands this year alone, I'm sure of it."
Now I know that Gerry knows what to do - that's not his issue. It's that his mind and body go into lock up every time he gets into a referral/lead situation. This is an emotional issue, that keeps him from being his best and using the skills that he's got. His emotional brain hijacks his logical brain to the point where it shuts down.
At this stage, we've got 2 choices. We can talk out the emotional issues, which while frequently effective, can take a long time or we can use NET to defuse the emotions quickly and effectively so that he can get on with being successful. Gerry picked the NET approach.
Within a couple of 30 minute sessions, his comfort with cold calls, leads and referrals jumped way up. He still needed to refine his skills and communication style but he could do it far more easily because he was no longer shutting down. He also reported that his tension headaches have substantially decreased and he was sleeping better!
"Whenever I think about asking for a referral, my stomach knots up and I get really tense. The same thing happens when I get a lead or consider cold calling." Gerry says. Even thinking about it gives him a pained expression.
"How do you think you come across when you're that wound up?" I ask.
"Awful - my voice tightens up, I speak to fast or my brain locks up and I can't think at all. I know I'm losing sales because my nervousness makes me look inauthentic. It's cost me thousands this year alone, I'm sure of it."
Now I know that Gerry knows what to do - that's not his issue. It's that his mind and body go into lock up every time he gets into a referral/lead situation. This is an emotional issue, that keeps him from being his best and using the skills that he's got. His emotional brain hijacks his logical brain to the point where it shuts down.
At this stage, we've got 2 choices. We can talk out the emotional issues, which while frequently effective, can take a long time or we can use NET to defuse the emotions quickly and effectively so that he can get on with being successful. Gerry picked the NET approach.
Within a couple of 30 minute sessions, his comfort with cold calls, leads and referrals jumped way up. He still needed to refine his skills and communication style but he could do it far more easily because he was no longer shutting down. He also reported that his tension headaches have substantially decreased and he was sleeping better!
Joanie's Story
Joanie is a successful coach and consultant to corporations. She specializes in communications and sales and has developed a very respectable business. In the process of doing this she gotten to the point where she has overextended herself both personally and professionally. While she is happy with many things in her life, she's recognizing the early stages of burnout that she see's in her clients and she also feels that she's stuck at her current income level.
"I'm finding myself not returning phone calls and experiencing some resentment towards my clients." she reports. "I find myself asking myself "When is it my turn to relax?" more often than I'd like and I've had to say no to a few too many social engagements which to me, means my life is out of balance with work and play."
"I also feel like I've hit a glass ceiling with my income and needing to do the "work smarter, not harder" thing but so far, my creativity isn't kicking in"
When we worked with Joanie there were a few interesting beliefs we uncovered such as:
She reports: "I'm feeling way better! My creativity has jumped way up and I've already put some ideas in motion that should see me getting paid with residual fees, I've gotten the confidence to raise my fees and realize that I'm getting paid to create results, not by the hour. I'm carving some time out of my social calendar for friends and family. It's still a little early to tell about income, but I've had a couple of excellent weeks, so things are looking good!"
"I'm finding myself not returning phone calls and experiencing some resentment towards my clients." she reports. "I find myself asking myself "When is it my turn to relax?" more often than I'd like and I've had to say no to a few too many social engagements which to me, means my life is out of balance with work and play."
"I also feel like I've hit a glass ceiling with my income and needing to do the "work smarter, not harder" thing but so far, my creativity isn't kicking in"
When we worked with Joanie there were a few interesting beliefs we uncovered such as:
- If you want to be successful, you need to work all the time
- I deserve to make $12,000/month and no more (her current income level was $12,000)
- I get paid by the hour
- Work is more important than friends
- Asking for more than you need is greedy
She reports: "I'm feeling way better! My creativity has jumped way up and I've already put some ideas in motion that should see me getting paid with residual fees, I've gotten the confidence to raise my fees and realize that I'm getting paid to create results, not by the hour. I'm carving some time out of my social calendar for friends and family. It's still a little early to tell about income, but I've had a couple of excellent weeks, so things are looking good!"
What Are Your Goals?
Your life and business are too important to leave to chance. There are no doubt some areas of your life that you are very happy with and that are working great. There are also likely some areas that could be doing a lot better or are at least due for an upgrade in your life. If you'd like to talk with Dr. Peter about what an upgrade might look like, you can contact him by clicking, here
